In these troubled economic times, cash rules everything around us, and so it's only natural that Chapter Three seek to develop new and innovative streams of revenue. Last year saw the successful spinoff of Mission Bicycle, and we're eager to repeat the process. We see diverse income sources as key to maintaining a healthy balance sheet heading into the third quarter of fiscal year 2009, and beyond.
At this time we are pleased to announce the launch of a new line of business, one completely insulated from inherent volatility of both the open-source Content Management and boutique hipster fashion markets, a line of business which we project will deliver increasing returns over the next three to five year horizon.
We of course refer to the fast-growing seafood sensation lovingly known as, "Nice Lobster." While these tasty critters are technically giant crawfish and not truly a "lobster," extensive usability research from the University of Minnesota suggests that 95% of end-users can't tell the difference. We've liquidated a portion of our Drupal portfolio and held a successful Valencia-street garage sale of surplus OEM fixed-gear bike parts, and are now prepared to double down on the next generation of NorCal seafood.
With an on-the-ground presence in Eureka California, near the fertile shoals of Humboldt Bay and one of the larger commercial crabbing fleets on the west coast, we're uniquely positioned to leverage local talent and expertise in sustainable aquaculture (note: not acquia-culture) and make our move into the high-end of the crustacean marketplace. This market is projected to tighten, especially as global climate change and over-harvesting continue to deplete the yield of most major northeastern lobster fishing grounds.
This new venture is made possible thanks to a significant external investment from a cartel of silent partners. While the hunt for venture capital is more challenging these days, we encourage entrepreneurs to keep at it. Based on our experience, there's a lot of money on the sidelines looking for the right kind of project. In fact, here in Humboldt County, we found there's a lot of money literally buried in the ground looking for any kind of "legitimate" investment opportunity.
The Nice Lobster hatchery and sea-farm forms the third leg of the Chapter Three "tripod" business plan, a structure we trust and hope will carry our enterprise forward into 2010 and beyond. For more information about series-B investment opportunities, or to order your own Nice Lobster sampler gift pack (perfect for mothers day!) please contact us at 1-888-496-3238.
Number doesn't have anything to do with Lobsters. I tried a bunch of times. I even tried variations of the given number, but nobody knew anything about Lobster gift paks. Get your stuff straight, Three. You're wasting my time.
Definitely, the number is wrong. Needs to be changed, but you should already know that. Hmmmmm, somethin' fishy goin' on here...
Have the fish murderers learned how to puppeteer? Or am I a mere puppet of these fish puppeteers. Turns out we're asking the wrong questions. "Nice lobsters" are not fish, they are mammals,and they need us in this dark hour.
I've been calling this number all night. I'm calling it right now. RIGHT NOW. No answer for the last 3 hours. What are they hiding? Brothers and sisters, its time we used moveon to send a strong email "change blast" (not to be confused with the product that promotes lower digestive system health)
Good on you. I really think there is a lot to be learned from the Drupal community here. Will you be sponsoring local lobster meetups? How about LobsterCon? All you need to have an impromptu shell-a-thon or craw-sprint is some pizza, wifi, and a pair of pliers (nut crackers will do).
Word to the wise, though: don't let the same butt-faced graphic designers who constantly besmirch your other business ventures work on this project. You want people to think you've got nice lobsters, right?
The last time I mentioned "Nice Lobsters", I go slapped. Still trying to figure that out.
Any successful profit-related venture must include collecting underpants. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underpants_Gnomes
The hardest part in any lobster-related venture is obtaining shell access. Ba-da-boom!
All of this talk about lobster is getting me hungry for some seafood
dan from bass fishing tips
I love working with Chapter Three. They are THE Drupal experts and have helped 7x7 and California Home+Design with everything from troubleshooting sticky bugs to designing and building out entire sites. They understand both our editorial and business needs and have delivered top-notch products that satisfy both.
Jennifer Pollock, Online Managing Editor, 7x7 and California Home + Design
I called the number, there's no extension for Lobsters. It says you are San Francisco. What gives, are you outsourcing from the Ocean to the Bay?